The Cost of Unforgiveness

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ~ Matthew 6:12

This post was really challenging for me to write probably because I haven’t fully achieved the outcome I desire.

I thought and prayed at length about how to forgive; forgive certain people and certain situations that I found myself in throughout my life. What did I discover? Being a forgiving person is incredibly difficult! And I cannot forgive on my own. I most definitely need the Lord’s help. Holding on to unforgiveness has caused a ton of pent up anger that turned into resentment, and even hatred, for those people and situations. I have held on to that hatred, anger, and resentment much too long; held on to them like they were precious jewels. What else have I found out? It is my belief that on order to forgive, first you have to be thankful.

Forgiveness is costly…

Thankful, pleased, relieved…. synonyms for that are grateful appreciative, filled with gratitude.

In every situation you find yourself in you must be thankful and grateful for what you have. I still struggle with focusing on who and what caused me every sort of pain; even the pain itself. I do this instead of being grateful and appreciative of something good they may have done or how it made me into a better person. Being thankful will cause a shift in how you view that person or situation. If you are grateful and appreciative, it’s impossible to 100% loath a person or situation. It’s the second step in forgiving (the first being praying and asking for the grace in helping to forgive).

Forgiveness may require you to give up your pursuit for justice…

Forgiveness: the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.

If you don’t forgive, even if you think it doesn’t bother you or effect you anymore, it does. Unforgiveness is not a precious jewel; it’s a heavy, rough, blemished rock that will weigh you down and bruise and cut your soul. Forgiveness is not so much about the other person as it is about saving yourself from years of emotional and mental misery. My anger and pain comes out, and still comes out, in very unrelated circumstances. Because of my own pain, resentment, and anger I have caused pain to other people. I do not want to be that person anymore. For my own sake and my loved ones around me, I have to forgive.

It may mean you need to live with long-lasting consequences~John Speight

Synonyms: pardon, absolution, exoneration, remission, dispensation, indulgence, clemency, mercy.

Forgiveness is not saying what you did is ok. It’s about extending mercy to the other person, giving them a pardon as it were. Being thankful and grateful for something that person did will help in that.

I have to do the very thing that my Lord and savior did for me. What kind of person would I be and where would I be if I didn’t?